Wednesday, April 18, 2007

I only WISH it were 6 degrees...

I wish it were 6 degrees of seperation between me and someone shot in the tragedy. My sister Summer had a dear high school friend who was killed in the french class with only 2 survivors. Jack is now the Bishop of our ward (clergy for our congregation) and he officiated in his first funeral on Friday. At Hazel's funeral, he talked about our time here on earth being such a brief moment in the eternal scheme of things. As he was talking about that, I really felt something that I always understood and knew in my mind, but on Friday I felt it in my heart, in my mind, in my bones and my blood. I felt the peace that comes through knowing about the plan of salvation. I felt the peace only the Savior can bring. Some people may say I feel that now because I have to in order to comprehend the crisis. But I know it, I feel it, not because I need to but because it is truth. Summer, you can also feel that peace, I know you can. Nevermind the nay-sayers, they will try to belittle you saying no God would let this happen. We both know there is more to it than that. Summer, there is peace and comfort to be found. We love you.


Jenny said...

Jaime I share your knowledge of how much more there is to understand and that heavenly father is aware of our struggles.
Even the times when purpose escapes us I've found it only that much more important to cherish the people and activities we love. Be present for ever moment.
My thoughts are with Summer.

Elizabeth said...

We will be praying for your sister and family. You put your beliefs down so well. I believe it to, what a blessing to have that peace.

summergurl1836 said...

thank you so much. i love you all too. it's hard to have hatred for someone who could do this sort of thing. it just doesn't seem right. i try to be the strong one and not let anyone know how hurt i am but it hard. i cry myself to sleep, if i can even ever to the point of actual sleep. she was such a sweet girl who everyone loved, i almost wish that there was some way i could have traded places with her or saved her somehow. but i guess it wasn't suppose to be that way. but at this point i can't help but wish. again, thank you so much everyone for being there for me. i'm not quite sure if i'll ever be able to get past this... it almost seems impossible right now.

Jenny said...

Summer you're actually right to feel that you won't "get past it", this is absolutely going to change your life.
What you do get to decide now is whether this makes life meaningless or meaningful.
I once read that after a loss of a close person in one's life, that it takes a month for every year you know that loved one just to begin to feel like you don't have a knife twisting in your heart. So, while day to day life goes on don't worry that you're still have those rough nights - it's way too soon for you to expect any different.
If you need to get out of town you have an open invitation to crash at my place in San Diego.
It won't change anything about the process you have to go thru, but at least it's sunny and beautiful.