Moments I Hate

The moment you go for the milk after already having poured your cereal, and realize there is not milk

The moment you go to start a load of laundry and realize there was a load left in there from days ago which now must be re-washed, putting you even further behind

The moment you go to take a picture at an important event and realize the battery is charged and still sitting in the charger

The moment you pull into the carpool lane and then realize your son has jump rope club after school, but it's too late to back out and you are trapped for the duration

The moment you go to add the final ingredient to a recipe and realize you are out of the item

The moment you drop a birthday card in the mailbox and realize you thought it was March not April

The moment you are nestled in bed, perfectly cozy, and realize you have to get up to do something you forgot to do but that has to get done before you can go to sleep

The moment you realize all your hated moments have something to with the fact that what you thought was an  A Game, is really more like a B- Game.

Do you want to know the moment I loved and continue to love though? The moment when I realized that I am a 36 year old SAHM of four, starting over after 7 years, and I don't have to prove anything, to anyone, and I do not care if I am at the top of my game. I loved that moment and continue to love it!

I'm not quite sure what to do with this...

My alma mater. Number 1? 
And no, Finn, you can't go there. You can thank Business Insider.

Sisterhood of the Multiplying Dress. (or) THE Dress.

So many moons ago, I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was going to be a girl because, well, because I had a dream. I really did have a dream, but that is a whole other story. I also knew it was going to be a girl because I come from a house of girls. I never had brothers. My parents were divorced. I knew girls. My mom had all of these sisters who were a large presence in my life, I knew women. Jack came from a family of seven sisters. We were having a girl. Hands down. So when GAP had this velvet ice skating dress for sale, of course I bought it. In 1998. I might have even bought it full price (or maybe like only 20% off, which by my standards, is full price.) Then it went on sale, so I bought another one in another size. And then another. I eventually owned four sizes of this dress. Well as you know, Finn was a boy. Then another boy, then another boy. Clearly, no girl. Slowly, as my sister and friends all began having girls, I started gifting (surrenderring) the dresses. For someone to recieve the gift of "THE dress" meant clearly our friendship was important to me. I kept one. I did keep one. Fast forward to 2013. Here are the three of us, and our three daughters, wearing various incarnations of THE dress. Time has passed, so much has changed, but man, those dresses are still solid. Solidly awesome! Solidy adorable! Of course, it doesn't hurt that the models are pretty awesomely adorable as well!

 ANTM Note: If I were hiring a model amongst the crowd, I am sorry to say it would not be my own daughter. Macy was the star of this show, as the old pro of the photo shoot. She looked great in all of them. The other two, not so sure about this little endeavor. I had to include my favorite of each girl. 



Sterling



Quinn

Macy

I dOn't know why, but I laugh every time

I'm not imploring you, but I am sayin' if you love you some Justin, this site is funny to fill five minuts of your day. I love me some Justin and the commentary is why i laughed so much.
.Justin Doing Things

And I love this woman, as does Sawyer, who now has a new catch phrase. The up side is that he no longer says, "Where there's fun, there's fire."
Sawyer says thanks

You are welcome Lyssa.

For Reals.

If you want to have a private conversation about fees and expenses you can expect to incur if you are interested in adopting, I would love to share our experience with you. It is not a secret and I am not uncomfortable talking about it. Not in aisle 12.
Thanks rantsfrommommyland.com for the pic.

Oh What a Difference a Year Makes

I was just on facebook and posted my Year in Review of Status Updates. It was fun. As I was looking at my 87 updates to choose 12 from I realized none of them were the heart and soul of my 2012. Nor should they. Facebook is not where I leak my inner most thoughts and feelings.

Last January 1st we were holed up at the beach, trying to drown our sorrows from our failed adoption. We tried to let the waves wash our sadness away as we held our little family closer. In all my life I will never forget where we were and how we felt as we told the boys they were not going to meet the little sister. In a strange way, the group hug we shared sobbing and wailing, is a moment I will treasure forever.  January 2012 was going to bring this amazing experience and change our lives. It did change our lives. I love this picture because it brings all the emotions of that trip back to my mind. It was heart-wrenching and healing all in the same trip. It was a strange mix of experiences and emotions for us.

Here we are, January 2013. We are holed up again, not because we had to escape. This time, we are in our little house and we don't want to leave. We are not drowning anything, we are relishing in our completion. We are soaking up the joy and the strength and the love we feel as our family is moving through the next chapter of our life. We aren't stuck in this adoption loop of "what-is-or-is-not-going-to-happen."

2012 brought moments to my life that showed me some of my lowest lows. It also brought me moments of some of my highest highs. It was a roller coaster year, for sure. Through it all, I was given this amazing strength to cope, to deal, and even to thrive (at times) in the "now."

At church someone had decorated a bulletin board with this random quote that I stared at week in and week out. Over the course of several months, I wrote it down in my scriptures and on my notebook, on old gum wrappers and used envelopes, as I sat in that room listening to the words of my Savior teach me about peace and love and healing. For Christmas, Jack "made it all fancy" and had it framed for me. I didn't really notice he had seen my obsession with it. It was my favorite Christmas present.

"Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles, it only empties today of its strength."

That's my real 2012 in review.