Oh What a Difference a Year Makes

I was just on facebook and posted my Year in Review of Status Updates. It was fun. As I was looking at my 87 updates to choose 12 from I realized none of them were the heart and soul of my 2012. Nor should they. Facebook is not where I leak my inner most thoughts and feelings.

Last January 1st we were holed up at the beach, trying to drown our sorrows from our failed adoption. We tried to let the waves wash our sadness away as we held our little family closer. In all my life I will never forget where we were and how we felt as we told the boys they were not going to meet the little sister. In a strange way, the group hug we shared sobbing and wailing, is a moment I will treasure forever.  January 2012 was going to bring this amazing experience and change our lives. It did change our lives. I love this picture because it brings all the emotions of that trip back to my mind. It was heart-wrenching and healing all in the same trip. It was a strange mix of experiences and emotions for us.

Here we are, January 2013. We are holed up again, not because we had to escape. This time, we are in our little house and we don't want to leave. We are not drowning anything, we are relishing in our completion. We are soaking up the joy and the strength and the love we feel as our family is moving through the next chapter of our life. We aren't stuck in this adoption loop of "what-is-or-is-not-going-to-happen."

2012 brought moments to my life that showed me some of my lowest lows. It also brought me moments of some of my highest highs. It was a roller coaster year, for sure. Through it all, I was given this amazing strength to cope, to deal, and even to thrive (at times) in the "now."

At church someone had decorated a bulletin board with this random quote that I stared at week in and week out. Over the course of several months, I wrote it down in my scriptures and on my notebook, on old gum wrappers and used envelopes, as I sat in that room listening to the words of my Savior teach me about peace and love and healing. For Christmas, Jack "made it all fancy" and had it framed for me. I didn't really notice he had seen my obsession with it. It was my favorite Christmas present.

"Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles, it only empties today of its strength."

That's my real 2012 in review.

My Other Baby

So this year it was Sawyer who struggled at the photo shoot. Although from these shots, it is hard to tell. But between those busted up teeth (thankfully I think we will have a braces gap between Finn and this one) and that 6-going-on-16 attitude, it was all we could do to get even a few pictures of him smiling, and not in a tortured sort of way. The shadow on this one is a bit strong but that face...you try denying that face!

Sawyer, since birth, has been our leaper-jumper-runner-no-heights-are-too-high child. It is amazing he hasn't broken anything (ok, anything on his body...). We are constantly telling him to "take the crazy outside" and it works for the most part. He is never cold. Even with colder weather coming in he still wears shorts almost everyday to school. I know parents judge, but they were judging me when I let him climb the monkey bars at age two (because he totally could!), so judge on parents! He is our total "dude." He always asks who our favorite NFL team is, who our favorite quarterback is, and we are constantly googling answers to appease him. He scored 8 baskets the other day in his basketball game, so we just might have to become sports people for this one.

 This boy is going to be trouble with the ladies. He is a charmer. He and his best buddy "Bro" are the boys the other kids try to be with and please. While it is adorable in some sense because they both have their own little speech issues, this is not good. Why is this not good? Because he knows how much other children look tohim. Plus, when his first grade teacher asked what the reward for fun friday should be, he responded, "Go around all day with your shirt off. For the boys anyway." A dude. Shirtless, sports-talking, poop joking dude.

But dude or not, he loves his baby sister. He gets bored with her "lack of skills" quickly, but is always interested in what she is doing, where she is, and what he can do to get her to smile. Which, for the record, is just about anything. These two are going to be a pair...

Middle by Birth, First by Declaration

Two years ago when we had our last formal family photo shoot, Grayson was, well, "had the hardest time", shall we say? This year, he was a pro! As we were walking out the door he asked if he could take a banana Laffy Taffy. I was harried and didn't care what he brought, so long as he made it to the car. Just before pictures he popped that thing in his mouth and I seriously think the sugar rush came into play, but we got the most adorable and amazing photos from him. In fact, his turned out the best, I think. It was hard to chose even just 5 or 6 for this post, because there were so many good ones.

  

Gray has had an amazing year. While quiet and reserved at times, he has such a big personality for a 4th grader. He defiintely sets the tone for our house, so we have enjoyed his enjoyment of life this past year. Not thrilled with reading, he has never really jumped into a series, but over the summer his reading blossomed and he dove into the Harry Potter series. I am so proud of him since he swore he would never read a book that long. He is almost done and we catch him reading here and there often, which is an amazing sight to behold. With Sterling's arrival he moved rooms and shares a room with Finn now and it is so great to watch the two of them interact. It has been good for Gray and has helped him mellow out a little.

While he has played soccer and is currently playing basketball, he has stumbled upon his newest passion: Jump roping. An amazing student teacher (seriously, watch her in this video of her at her high school talent show...yes, she was jumping with her butt @ minute 1:25!) started a Jump Rope Team at Belle Heth. After several weeks of practicing late into the cold dark nights, in his bedroom, and with his imaginary rope in the living room, Gray made the team. They work hard, too! He wants to join the jump rope team for the Jr Olympics and while he has a ways to go, I can totally seeing him do it. Gray has that kind of personality. If he is not interested, good luck-never gonna happen. If he is, watch out! I love that about his personality. Jack always says he is the most like me and that we are going to probably go the rounds when he hits his teen years. But I turned out ok, so I say bring it!

How to choose? Finn First.

We had our family photos taken the other day and so many of them turned out so great. I was having trouble decided which ones to get printed and which to put in scrapbooks and which to put on the blog. So it is going to be a series of posts. Redundant at some level, yes. Oh well. I realized I have not really blogged about the boys this year, so I thought this would be a good chance to catch up on their comings and goings.

 Finn is in the 9th grade. Although a Freshman, he does not carry himself as such. But anyone who knows Finn knows he was an old soul from the time he was born. He continues to keep us in line and serves as the third parent on many occassions (again, which he has done since the moment he had someone to parent...sorry Gray). He is  a great brother and babysitter. He has begun babysitting for hire and he really enjoys it. It reminds of when Jack was a nanny in college and he loved it. Academically he is doing outstanding. He has three advanced classes and he has had straight A's since the year began. He is excelling in band also, playing in the honors band at RU this past month. It is crazt to me that three years ago he didn't even know how to read music and now he is a real saxaphone player.

 Ever the prude, it makes him crazy when we tell him "He's sax-y and he knows it!"

 He is on the Science MACC team and Scholastic Bowl team. The other afternoon he called and said SB practice was cancelled. In my mind I raced through picking him up early and what that would entail but before my thoughts could materialize he said, "But I am going to join Spanish Club and Andrew can bring me home afterwards." I actually asked him if he could start under-achieving a little more. (And we won't even talk about having him have friends who drive...)

Between the orthodontist and dermatologist, he is going to be in tip top shape by the end of next year. Standing at a taller-than-mom-since-he-was-eleven 5'12 he is still my Finny. I can tell he is getting older because it used to drive him crazy when I called him that. Now he just pats me on the head and talks about the old people's home he is going to send me too.
It's great having a teenager around! I've said it before and I stand by it.He's fun to be around, witty in his conversations, confident in who he is, and I am proud to call him my son. I am grateful he sometimes says no to his friends and chooses to stay in and hang out with us. He might beat me at most of the games we play anymore, but I'll take it! Love you Finn!

The Not So Glamour Shots

Testing our props and outfit selections

 So we just had our professional family photo shoot and they turned out great! Thrilled! I couldn't be happier. But for those, you will have to wait. Instead, here are the ones we took with our camera, while we waited for the photo family magic to begin...


This is before we even left the house...



Yep. And within about 15 minutes of our arrival.

I know you will be on pins and needles waiting for the rest.